By the end of February 1998, my life radically changed.
I had to move out of my bedroom on account of it flooding. Adding to that, I struggled to recall dreams for weeks in both February and January. Looking back, I grew steadily more resistant to cues from the Nova Dreamer. I had to raise the alarm settings, and eventually, I slept through maximum.
I never deliberately performed a W.I.L.D. I made the mistake of wearing the mask to bed, instead of using the mask after 6-hours sleep. After building up a tolerance, this was especially counterproductive.
The remaining dream reports to be published to this blog were conducted a full 12-months later. Sadly, progress and special dreams I had between February 1998, and January 1999, are now only memories.
Showing posts with label Dream Lore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dream Lore. Show all posts
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Dream 060-063: Endless Gum & Zombie Attack Turn Job Oppertunity
060: I was talking to my cousin Matthew and David (brothers/first cousins) and to Frances, who I called Emmit (Grandparents on their Fathers side). I was trying to illustrate a point to them but my mouth was filled with chewing gum and the words were too difficult to understand.
So I spit the gum out into a tissue but my mouth was still filled with gooey gum. I sat there in front of them pulling gum out of my mouth.
They all looked at me like I was disgusting.
061: I was dressed up nice at a dance class. I was there visiting someone. I knew Tiffany was in the class too. She kept checking me out, we liked each other. Tiffany looked wonderful in the dream.
062: I was locked up in this room with my kid sister. Resident evil style zombies were after us. I saw a cut shot of them breaking into the building where we were. They looked like computer graphics.
My sister and I were leaving the factory area without weapons. A guy in a blue compact convertible sports car pulled up on the street in front of us. He asked if I was an animator looking for work. I said yes, then took his card. His car was extremely messy. My sister and I started to walk home, but we lived together in the city that was slightly like New York. We were in front of our house and my sister changed into a brown straight haired, blue eyed girl.
The guy who gave me his card was setting up a feeble looking tin mailbox across the street from from us. The girl started to open the garage door with a key, I told her not to while that guy was around. She listened and we walked up the street.
Next thing I know, I was making coffee with a spoon that was filled with coffee. As I stirred, it filled the cup, and I was in my kitchen! Then I woke up.
Note: This is my first recorded dream with so many distinct transitions. I do not usually have, or at least, I do not usually remember this kind. Considering this occurred after a dry spell, is it likely I was having many dreams of this variety? Could constant transitioning make memory retrieval more elusive? Or was it just because I was growing tolerant to my dream recall and lucid induction techniques? Looking back on that time, nothing dramatic or special was going on in my life.
And, here again with the sports cars. I like sports cars. But, they are not a topic I have dwelt on much since I was about 12-years old. I have owned reliable cars since I was 16-years old. Apart from that, it's curious to me they figure so deeply and so frequently into my dreams.
Sports cars and cousins... But why?
063: I just recalled a fragment of a Star Trek dream. Captain Picard was aboard his own personal starship. There was a Klingon Star base that looked like organic technology. Something like a huge jellyfish. Warf gave the order to:
"Destroy Captain Picard if he gets within range."
-January 29, 1998
So I spit the gum out into a tissue but my mouth was still filled with gooey gum. I sat there in front of them pulling gum out of my mouth.
They all looked at me like I was disgusting.
061: I was dressed up nice at a dance class. I was there visiting someone. I knew Tiffany was in the class too. She kept checking me out, we liked each other. Tiffany looked wonderful in the dream.
062: I was locked up in this room with my kid sister. Resident evil style zombies were after us. I saw a cut shot of them breaking into the building where we were. They looked like computer graphics.
My sister and I were leaving the factory area without weapons. A guy in a blue compact convertible sports car pulled up on the street in front of us. He asked if I was an animator looking for work. I said yes, then took his card. His car was extremely messy. My sister and I started to walk home, but we lived together in the city that was slightly like New York. We were in front of our house and my sister changed into a brown straight haired, blue eyed girl.
The guy who gave me his card was setting up a feeble looking tin mailbox across the street from from us. The girl started to open the garage door with a key, I told her not to while that guy was around. She listened and we walked up the street.
Next thing I know, I was making coffee with a spoon that was filled with coffee. As I stirred, it filled the cup, and I was in my kitchen! Then I woke up.
Note: This is my first recorded dream with so many distinct transitions. I do not usually have, or at least, I do not usually remember this kind. Considering this occurred after a dry spell, is it likely I was having many dreams of this variety? Could constant transitioning make memory retrieval more elusive? Or was it just because I was growing tolerant to my dream recall and lucid induction techniques? Looking back on that time, nothing dramatic or special was going on in my life.
And, here again with the sports cars. I like sports cars. But, they are not a topic I have dwelt on much since I was about 12-years old. I have owned reliable cars since I was 16-years old. Apart from that, it's curious to me they figure so deeply and so frequently into my dreams.
Sports cars and cousins... But why?
063: I just recalled a fragment of a Star Trek dream. Captain Picard was aboard his own personal starship. There was a Klingon Star base that looked like organic technology. Something like a huge jellyfish. Warf gave the order to:
"Destroy Captain Picard if he gets within range."
-January 29, 1998
Monday, June 14, 2010
Dream 058: Extreme First Date
I was with Lia (girl I was talking to briefly but never became involved with) in some house. I remember us going into her room. We got naked and under the covers. I remember her tummy had a tattoo that surrounded her belly button. It was nice looking... Dark blue, almost black, and had a lacy tribal style.
I was extremely aroused, to the point that it was awkward. But I didn't have any intention of having sex with her "the first time" we were together. I could look up at a computer screen and see Lia's thoughts on display as text. They confirmed we both wanted the same thing. Her face was hazy, not as pretty as real life. Kind of dull and average. I never really felt turned on, instead I felt nervous. But she was full of desire and passion.
Note: Here again I refer to the number of times I had been with a girl. This is comparable to the typical dating mentality of waking life. First date, second date, third date appropriate behaviors and activities. This was accurate, we hadn't gone on a date. And, I doubt I had dreamed about her before this because I had only recently met her.
-January 25, 1998
I was extremely aroused, to the point that it was awkward. But I didn't have any intention of having sex with her "the first time" we were together. I could look up at a computer screen and see Lia's thoughts on display as text. They confirmed we both wanted the same thing. Her face was hazy, not as pretty as real life. Kind of dull and average. I never really felt turned on, instead I felt nervous. But she was full of desire and passion.
Note: Here again I refer to the number of times I had been with a girl. This is comparable to the typical dating mentality of waking life. First date, second date, third date appropriate behaviors and activities. This was accurate, we hadn't gone on a date. And, I doubt I had dreamed about her before this because I had only recently met her.
-January 25, 1998
Dream 057: A Dreamless Week
Now I'm pissed! I haven't recalled a dream in a week! What happened!? I must have vivid dreams right now!
057: I vaguely recall telling my Mom in a dream Stacy had already gone back to Tim, or words to that effect. I also had flash backs of dream visions, but none I clearly recall anymore.
Note: I continued all my induction techniques for this entire week. And, I used the Nova Dreamer, and honestly didn't recall even one dream. I have notes for almost each day, but no dreams. Not sure what brought this on, but things had been running smoothly until this point. I will look into if anything special happened that week.
-January 24, 1997
057: I vaguely recall telling my Mom in a dream Stacy had already gone back to Tim, or words to that effect. I also had flash backs of dream visions, but none I clearly recall anymore.
Note: I continued all my induction techniques for this entire week. And, I used the Nova Dreamer, and honestly didn't recall even one dream. I have notes for almost each day, but no dreams. Not sure what brought this on, but things had been running smoothly until this point. I will look into if anything special happened that week.
-January 24, 1997
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Dream 041-043: A Dream Series Begins & A Movie I Never Want to See
041: I was talking to the girl across the street on my house phone. I could see in through the window in the front of her house. It was massive inside. Oak wood floors, panels, with a high vaulted ceiling. It was about 3-stories high. I remember her saying "Well should I go over to your house or do you want to come over to mine?"
That's when I walked into her garage. (Still on the cordless house phone.) A small guy was stacking blocks of wood there. I could look out of the garage and see the front of my house with the garage door open. I thought "This is like the second time I've talked to this girl, we should be getting close soon."
The other time I was thinking of was in a dream too. (Dream 014)
Note: This was "like the 2nd" dream I had about the house across the street. It was in fact the 2nd dream I recorded about being friends with them. It was around this time in real life that new neighbors moved into the house across the street. I had been friendly with the original people who lived there, but when I was a kid. Our relationship had faded out many years before they actually moved out.
The new reoccurring relationships/location became pivotal in my glimpses of repressed dream history.
042: I was at my Dad's old apartment. Waiting for him and Tracy (estranged stepmother) to show up. The front door opened slowly and my Dad walked in. After a beat my Mom walked in next. She fussed over what to wear while Tracy is here. Then ran off to the bathroom to change.
043: My third dream just came back to me! It was a movie preview. Robert De Nero is the only person I recall. He was talking to a woman on the phone. He was naked in bed on the phone masturbating. I thought "This is a pretty gross looking movie."
Note: This brings up a point that often occurs to me. Are we more likely to forget dreams we consider gross or annoying?
-January 9, 1998
That's when I walked into her garage. (Still on the cordless house phone.) A small guy was stacking blocks of wood there. I could look out of the garage and see the front of my house with the garage door open. I thought "This is like the second time I've talked to this girl, we should be getting close soon."
The other time I was thinking of was in a dream too. (Dream 014)
Note: This was "like the 2nd" dream I had about the house across the street. It was in fact the 2nd dream I recorded about being friends with them. It was around this time in real life that new neighbors moved into the house across the street. I had been friendly with the original people who lived there, but when I was a kid. Our relationship had faded out many years before they actually moved out.
The new reoccurring relationships/location became pivotal in my glimpses of repressed dream history.
042: I was at my Dad's old apartment. Waiting for him and Tracy (estranged stepmother) to show up. The front door opened slowly and my Dad walked in. After a beat my Mom walked in next. She fussed over what to wear while Tracy is here. Then ran off to the bathroom to change.
043: My third dream just came back to me! It was a movie preview. Robert De Nero is the only person I recall. He was talking to a woman on the phone. He was naked in bed on the phone masturbating. I thought "This is a pretty gross looking movie."
Note: This brings up a point that often occurs to me. Are we more likely to forget dreams we consider gross or annoying?
-January 9, 1998
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Dream 040: For Statistical Purposes
My intention is to transfer 20-Dreams per month to this blog. For statistical purposes, you should recon Dream 025 as two separate dreams to arrive at 20-Dreams in May. In retrospect, the vivid fearful dreams might have stimulated lucidity. Or perhaps a sign of increasing lucidity?
Monday, May 3, 2010
Dream 034-037: Deep into Dream City
034: (Dream Seed) at last! I'm sure I dreamed about high school. The parking lot was filled with dark cars. I even thought at one point "Maybe I should just do 5-years of high school?"
It may have been around graduation time. I don't really remember seeing any familiar people from school. I sorta remember a student being lynched in the parking lot.
035: I was talking to Emily. She was sitting at a (desktop) computer outdoors! She had makeup on and looked very Gothic. It looked like she was browsing through menus (online). I was sitting on the ground. She seemed slightly sad.
036: I was in a bar/pub by myself. The place was crowded. I waded through the crowd towards the bar at its center. Steff and another tall blond guy were asking a girl - who looked like a more attractive version of Holly! (A girl who was my best friend for a short period of 3rd grade, and who by coincidence transferred to my high school. We were never friends after a fallout we had in the 3rd grade however. I was floored she was in any dream or thought whatsoever...) "How much for a blow job?"
Just then, I walked up to Steff and greeted him and his friend. He seemed mildly surprised to see me and mildly happy. The bar/pub was in a made up city that was a cross between Downtown SF and Brighton England (where my friend Steff was from). I've dreamed about it before.
Much later in the dream, I was thrown in prison. A dirty, filthy, farm animal hangout/barn-like place. I looked around a bit, then other prisoners appeared. One of the prisoners appeared to be the lynched student from earlier(!), covered with scars and scabs all over him. The guards that appeared were releasing him. I recall thinking at that point: "I only have to make it 30-days in here. Then they'll let me go like him..."
Note: I have never been arrested, or sent to prison. I have no interest in prison stories, fictional or otherwise. No abnormal fear or dread of prison, and no contact with anyone who has been to prison.
My second record of a familiar dream city. Downtown San Fransisco mixed with Brighton. This is likely part of the same location visited in Dream 031
037: I just recalled another dream fragment. I get the feeling I was at Tanforan shopping mall. But there were tables setup on the second floor near the escalators. I was walking by myself. I spotted Fey (ex-girlfriend I had contact with a few years prior to this dream and had rarely thought of since), she spotted me. She was sitting with another woman, a brunette.
She smiled from afar, I smiled back and she had a look like "Oh see, I got that man! He wants me." I felt slightly uncomfortable with her expression. I didn't stop to talk to her. Her look didn't change either. She just looked at her friend (with the same expression). She was overweight. Pear shaped. I didn't feel sexual attraction towards her (like usual).
Note: There were no tables set up by the 2nd floor escalators at Tanforan in those days. There are a few there now, and an Orange Julius/Dairy Queen also. Also see Dream 067 & Lucid Animals at DreamViews.com.
-January 7, 1998
It may have been around graduation time. I don't really remember seeing any familiar people from school. I sorta remember a student being lynched in the parking lot.
035: I was talking to Emily. She was sitting at a (desktop) computer outdoors! She had makeup on and looked very Gothic. It looked like she was browsing through menus (online). I was sitting on the ground. She seemed slightly sad.
036: I was in a bar/pub by myself. The place was crowded. I waded through the crowd towards the bar at its center. Steff and another tall blond guy were asking a girl - who looked like a more attractive version of Holly! (A girl who was my best friend for a short period of 3rd grade, and who by coincidence transferred to my high school. We were never friends after a fallout we had in the 3rd grade however. I was floored she was in any dream or thought whatsoever...) "How much for a blow job?"
Just then, I walked up to Steff and greeted him and his friend. He seemed mildly surprised to see me and mildly happy. The bar/pub was in a made up city that was a cross between Downtown SF and Brighton England (where my friend Steff was from). I've dreamed about it before.
Much later in the dream, I was thrown in prison. A dirty, filthy, farm animal hangout/barn-like place. I looked around a bit, then other prisoners appeared. One of the prisoners appeared to be the lynched student from earlier(!), covered with scars and scabs all over him. The guards that appeared were releasing him. I recall thinking at that point: "I only have to make it 30-days in here. Then they'll let me go like him..."
Note: I have never been arrested, or sent to prison. I have no interest in prison stories, fictional or otherwise. No abnormal fear or dread of prison, and no contact with anyone who has been to prison.
My second record of a familiar dream city. Downtown San Fransisco mixed with Brighton. This is likely part of the same location visited in Dream 031
037: I just recalled another dream fragment. I get the feeling I was at Tanforan shopping mall. But there were tables setup on the second floor near the escalators. I was walking by myself. I spotted Fey (ex-girlfriend I had contact with a few years prior to this dream and had rarely thought of since), she spotted me. She was sitting with another woman, a brunette.
She smiled from afar, I smiled back and she had a look like "Oh see, I got that man! He wants me." I felt slightly uncomfortable with her expression. I didn't stop to talk to her. Her look didn't change either. She just looked at her friend (with the same expression). She was overweight. Pear shaped. I didn't feel sexual attraction towards her (like usual).
Note: There were no tables set up by the 2nd floor escalators at Tanforan in those days. There are a few there now, and an Orange Julius/Dairy Queen also. Also see Dream 067 & Lucid Animals at DreamViews.com.
-January 7, 1998
Dream 031: Drop Zone Hotel
I was in San Francisco, or an area like it. I was walking uphill with a person I don't remember. When I looked out over the view of the city, I saw a 50-story building. Like a hotel under construction, it had scaffolds all-around it.
It was white and rundown looking. I had the thought, "That looks like the building I keep falling off of in my dreams." -There was a lot more to this dream that I don't remember clearly.
Note: The first mention of my alternate dream memory-bank. Something that happened in an earlier dream. I hadn't written about falling off this building before. Yet when I woke up, the location felt familiar, as it still does to this day.
-January 1, 1998
It was white and rundown looking. I had the thought, "That looks like the building I keep falling off of in my dreams." -There was a lot more to this dream that I don't remember clearly.
Note: The first mention of my alternate dream memory-bank. Something that happened in an earlier dream. I hadn't written about falling off this building before. Yet when I woke up, the location felt familiar, as it still does to this day.
-January 1, 1998
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Dream 020: Dream Corridor (Lucid #2)
(Lucid #2) I just remembered my dream, a lucid one! I was moving down this passage way, there was a person at the end of hall. There was a baby blue door (on the right). I remember thinking "Another lucid dream!"
Everything was superbly detailed visually. I remember trying to run down the hallway towards the person. That if I moved in such a way so that I didn't see my hands, I would run even faster!
Sadly, I don't remember who the person was at the end of the hall for sure. I questioned him about the dream, he answered clearly and straightforward. I was excited, it was very realistic. I kept thinking something was about to happen at any moment. But always reminded myself it was a dream, it will only happen if I let it.
Note: This might be the first "dream guru" I recorded. I had over the years met people in my dreams who themselves seemed lucid. They professed to be aware they were dream people and that I was dreaming. Occasionally they explained the cosmology of my dreamland to me. Sometimes they made sense, other times they didn't. There are also the nonsense explanations - that made sense while dreaming but not on awakening. Either way, I rarely remember their words it would seem.
-December 14, 1997
Everything was superbly detailed visually. I remember trying to run down the hallway towards the person. That if I moved in such a way so that I didn't see my hands, I would run even faster!
Sadly, I don't remember who the person was at the end of the hall for sure. I questioned him about the dream, he answered clearly and straightforward. I was excited, it was very realistic. I kept thinking something was about to happen at any moment. But always reminded myself it was a dream, it will only happen if I let it.
Note: This might be the first "dream guru" I recorded. I had over the years met people in my dreams who themselves seemed lucid. They professed to be aware they were dream people and that I was dreaming. Occasionally they explained the cosmology of my dreamland to me. Sometimes they made sense, other times they didn't. There are also the nonsense explanations - that made sense while dreaming but not on awakening. Either way, I rarely remember their words it would seem.
-December 14, 1997
Monday, April 26, 2010
Intro 000: Dreams & Nightmares
The first set of posts are dreams and nightmares I recorded while experimenting with lucid dreaming and dream seeding 1997-2001. During this period I frequently used the Nova Dreamer and attempted various dream recall techniques. These dreams were usually recorded the instant I woke by hand or as soon as the dreams were recalled. I copied them into this blog with minor corrections.
Much of the dream imagery leaps back into my memory when I explore these old journal entries, but extra words will be in brackets or mentioned post script. There is some sexual content. I may tone down dreams that are too graphic. I have changed the names of certain people and places out of respect of privacy.
I share these with the sincere hope that they will further advance the human understanding of our extremely important dream lives. The unbounded but murky world we dwell in and fabricate while we are asleep. I wish I could say I am good at remembering my dreams. Without regular practice and plenty of sleep, I rarely do. The dreams uncovered here are often shades of sagas, eras, episodes, and bygone relationships with "real people" with "dream people" and in "dream places" that stretch back to childhood.
As my lucid experiments progressed. I learned imperfectly to: See through walls, run at car-like speed, fly, leap from great heights without fear, have sex, slip through cracks, teleport -and a few other things more surprising.
Strangely, many of the cast members of my dreams are real people - long since left my life. When I began to recollect large numbers of dreams, I was often stunned by their constant appearances - when I woke up. While awake, I hadn't much thought of some of these people in years.
Gradually, a warped parallel dream reality emerged. One in which people I had written off long before without regret, were often my regular if awkward dream companions. Even more bewildering? While dreaming certain dreams, I was apparently familiar with the lore, history, timeline, social structure, and even the geography of my dreamland. In these same dreams, I felt completely aware of the differences between "real life" and "dream life."
During my fleeting moments of super-lucidity, I seemed to command an exact memory of scores of additional dreams I remembered little about while awake. This catalog of offline dream knowledge felt crucial for my comfort and survival vs. certain reoccurring dream hazards. Upon awakening, the wisdom of my dreamland all but evaporates.
Considering some of the content I discovered, I don't think remembering 100% of our dreams would be healthy for some. For me, this dream life experience amounts to a staggering and prolific subconscious lore.
Until this experiment, I was unaware that many of my dreams were not so forgotten. But instead stored just beneath the surface of my conscious memories. I have learned that we are all able and all required to - access our subconscious dream histories. This is our own personal Map of Dreamland.
These are my private journals and highly valued personal records. All Rights Reserved. ©1997-2010
No part of this publication may be stored, transmitted, or copied without expressed written permission. Brief quotes are okay for review and reference as long the URL is sited: MapofDreamland.com
No religious or mystical rituals were employed. Advertisements that appear are not necessarily endorsed, there is a lot of dream junk online. My dream explorations were thrown into high gear thanks to information and technology from the Lucidity Institute:
Dream Recall
Inducing Lucid Dreams
Nova Dreamer
Much of the dream imagery leaps back into my memory when I explore these old journal entries, but extra words will be in brackets or mentioned post script. There is some sexual content. I may tone down dreams that are too graphic. I have changed the names of certain people and places out of respect of privacy.
I share these with the sincere hope that they will further advance the human understanding of our extremely important dream lives. The unbounded but murky world we dwell in and fabricate while we are asleep. I wish I could say I am good at remembering my dreams. Without regular practice and plenty of sleep, I rarely do. The dreams uncovered here are often shades of sagas, eras, episodes, and bygone relationships with "real people" with "dream people" and in "dream places" that stretch back to childhood.
As my lucid experiments progressed. I learned imperfectly to: See through walls, run at car-like speed, fly, leap from great heights without fear, have sex, slip through cracks, teleport -and a few other things more surprising.
Strangely, many of the cast members of my dreams are real people - long since left my life. When I began to recollect large numbers of dreams, I was often stunned by their constant appearances - when I woke up. While awake, I hadn't much thought of some of these people in years.
Gradually, a warped parallel dream reality emerged. One in which people I had written off long before without regret, were often my regular if awkward dream companions. Even more bewildering? While dreaming certain dreams, I was apparently familiar with the lore, history, timeline, social structure, and even the geography of my dreamland. In these same dreams, I felt completely aware of the differences between "real life" and "dream life."
During my fleeting moments of super-lucidity, I seemed to command an exact memory of scores of additional dreams I remembered little about while awake. This catalog of offline dream knowledge felt crucial for my comfort and survival vs. certain reoccurring dream hazards. Upon awakening, the wisdom of my dreamland all but evaporates.
Considering some of the content I discovered, I don't think remembering 100% of our dreams would be healthy for some. For me, this dream life experience amounts to a staggering and prolific subconscious lore.
Until this experiment, I was unaware that many of my dreams were not so forgotten. But instead stored just beneath the surface of my conscious memories. I have learned that we are all able and all required to - access our subconscious dream histories. This is our own personal Map of Dreamland.
These are my private journals and highly valued personal records. All Rights Reserved. ©1997-2010
No part of this publication may be stored, transmitted, or copied without expressed written permission. Brief quotes are okay for review and reference as long the URL is sited: MapofDreamland.com
No religious or mystical rituals were employed. Advertisements that appear are not necessarily endorsed, there is a lot of dream junk online. My dream explorations were thrown into high gear thanks to information and technology from the Lucidity Institute:
Dream Recall
Inducing Lucid Dreams
Nova Dreamer
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